Amen

As I write this, it's been almost 2 weeks since I finished reading the Bible. The entire thing took me 79 days to finish - cover to cover. Several people have asked me what I think now that I've finished the whole thing. I decided I needed to take some time to think about it...let it sink in if you will, before I tried to make sense of my experience. I doubt it will ever fully make sense to me, but now that I've had some time and space away from the experience, I guess now is as good a time as any for some final thoughts.

1) I'm glad I did it, but I don't know that I'll ever do it again. I learned a lot. Knowing the history of my faith definitely filled in a lot of question marks about why certain aspects of Christianity, and Judaism for that matter, came into being. I have a much better background of the people, places and events that shaped the things Christians believe to be true today. That being said, this was not an easy undertaking - either time wise or emotionally. I'm glad I took on the challenge but I think once might just be enough for me.

2) Reading the entire Bible is kind of like taking medicine. It's good for you but it might not always be pleasant. I faced some real hard truths in reading the Bible. A lot of the things in there were hard to read and even harder to accept. It challenged my faith in several ways. Though I've not completely made peace with all the things I learned, I can accept that my human brain cannot fully understand Divine reasoning. That will have to be enough for now.

3) Your experience reading the Bible reflects what is going on in your life at the time. Ok - I don't know that this is absolutely true but I surmise it is for most people. I know I was reading the Bible through a lens of my own issues. I never expected that the things that I was working through in my non-church life would bleed into how I interpreted the Bible. Maybe I should have, but I didn't. My struggles with trust and control constantly shaped how I interpreted the reading. Or maybe the reading illustrated my struggles with these things. In any event, the two could not be separated. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that He knows every little thing I struggle with and He can help me deal with it. He might be telling me this but I don't know how often I hear it.

So yes, after reading the entire Bible,I know more than I did 3 months ago. And yes, I faced some challenges to my faith as a result of reading the Bible. But in the end, here's what I realized. The Christian faith is all about one's personal relationship with God. What happened between God and the people in the Bible is all good for me know and learn from, but my relationship with God is unique to us. The way God dealt with the people in the Bible is not necessarily the way He will work in my life.

All that being said, here's what I think. It all comes down to your personal relationship with God. It may not always be easy but as long as your good with that relationship, all is good.

Wait - what?

Granted, as I've mentioned before, I am not a Biblical scholar, but below is my main thought about the book of Revelations.

This must be what a bad acid trip is like.

Allllmost Made It....

Though I hate the term and all the cliche stereotypes that come with it, I am a bit of a feminist. Pretty much everyone knows that things weren't all that good for women in the Bible. I knew that going in. I prepared myself for it and steeled myself against my gut reactions when I read things that made me angry and sad for the women that didn't get to experience the lifestyle I do.

I've been so impressed that I haven't yet railed on the injustices against women in Bible. I'm 4 days away from finishing reading the entire Bible and I almost made it. Almost but not quite.

I've heard about the parts of the Bible that describe a woman's role in the church...which would be no role at all. And it made me angry but nothing quite prepared me for reading the words, supposedly from God Himself, in harsh black and white type.

1 Timothy 2:11-12
"A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man; she must be silent."

There's not much I can say as a response to that - except this: I've known some amazing woman ministers. To silence them would be to rob us of a gift from God.

The Bachelor: Jerusalem

So here's something I never thought I'd consider: how is the apostle Paul like George Clooney? Apparently they are both against marriage. Here are some of Paul's thoughts on the subject.

1 Corinthians 7:1 "Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry..."
1 Corinthians 7:8 "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am."
1 Corinthians 7:27 "...Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife"
1 Corinthians 7:28 "...But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."

The ironic thing about this? The most commonly used wedding verse comes from this same book of the Bible.

Losing a Friend

I really enjoyed the Gospels. For me, it seemed the mood in Matthew, Mark. Luke and John was happy. Jesus had finally come, even though the people of the time did not exactly know that. To any Christian, I think Jesus is the symbol of their faith. I'm no different in that respect. And this was what the big buildup was all about.

In these 4 books, it's like you meet a new friend whom you discover you've come to love. You relish the moments you get to spend with him and are excited to learn more about him. Hearing what he has to say is a pleasure and you find yourself wanting more. I didn't care for the large amount of repetition (It seemed Matthew, Mark, Luke and John could have just divvied up the parables instead of all of them reporting on everything. Maybe they couldn't decide who would write what.) but that was my only complaint.

But then, as is often the case in life, it all comes to an end. In Acts, Jesus is taken up to Heaven and no longer physically with the people on Earth. I found this book to be similar to losing a friend. I've lost a lot of people in my life, whether it be to death or simply moves to faraway places and I noticed that reading the books after the Gospels, I felt a familiar sadness that comes with losing someone I love. As I was reading Acts and Romans, I couldn't help but think of the "good old days" of reading the Gospels when Jesus was among the people. It made me sad to continue reading because the good part was already over.

I've noticed that now, even more than when I was struggling through the Old Testament, I just want to be done. I don't want to read any more. Thankfully, I don't have much more to read. But I have a feeling getting through the next 75 pages might be even harder than getting through the first 973 was.

The Finish Line is in Sight

As I write this, I have only 2 weeks left of reading to finish the Bible. That kind of made me stop and think a bit. Have I changed at all in the last 9 weeks? Maybe. Am I a different person? Probably not. Is that ok? Yeah - I think so.

Pastor Becca recently told me she was surprised that I decided to take part in reading the Bible in 90 days. Honestly, so am I. After all these days and all these pages, I'm still not sure why I decided to do it. I kind of wish I did. Was I looking for something? And if I was, did I find it? I don't know if I'll have answers to these questions anytime soon. Maybe this is something I'll need some distance to discover.

In the meantime, I have about 200 more pages to get through first.

Valued

I've just started reading Matthew and already I like it much better than anything I read in the Old Testament. And yes, part of the reason is that the material is easier to read. And yes, the stories are familiar ones that I heard as a kid, but there's something else.

Not being one that's comfortable with talking about, or even dealing with, feelings...this realization took me by surprise but I think I like this book because of how it (Eeek!) makes me feel. This book actually makes one feel like they have value to someone or something else.

In Matthew 10:31 Jesus is giving his disciples instructions and one of the examples he gives is about sparrows that were apparently a bargain item back in the day at the price of 2 for a penny (or 2 for a Greek assarion - which is weird because American money and Greek money wouldn't seem to be the currency that comes to mind in the Middle East in Biblical times but what do I know?). Then Jesus says, "...you are worth more than many sparrows." And later in Matthew 12:12, after someone was testing him about healing someone on the Sabbath, Jesus tells a parable about rescuing a sheep that falls into a pit. He says, "How much more valuable is a man than a sheep!"

After 809 pages of reading about a vengeful, punishing and seemingly arbitrary God, it's a nice change of pace to see His "softer" side. But there is more to it for me. It's refreshing, maybe even comforting, to be told you have value. I'm sure there are people that think I have value. Intellectually, I know this. But a lot of times I don't necessarily feel it. People really don't say that kind of thing to each other much. It probably isn't too far-fetched to say that one of the reasons I'm so addicted to achieving is that is how I feel I have value - I can do this or I can do that so I'm worthy of taking up space.

As hard as one might try, you can't earn value from achievements. It's nice to be told once in a while that you don't have to.